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Contests : Wergle Flomp Free Poetry Contest : Past Winners : 2003 : Callaghan Howard
AN ODE TO BUNS
Buns are rosy, buns are round,
Some spurt gas without a sound;
And other buns, without a care,
Blow methane with a trumpet blare.
Some buns are fountains of delight,
Some buns bellow in the night!
Some are wrinkled, old, and droopy,
Some are fragrant, some are poopy.
Pendulous are sumo buns,
Each a generous metric ton,
Some buns are covered with thick bristles,
Others could make deadly missiles.
Some imitate the song of larks,
Some emit surprising barks;
Buns that are squeezed tight with gristle
Tend to make a high-pitched whistle.
O, the world is full of many buns!
New arses one must never shun;
But I'm glad, though some are quite divine
That yours are yours, and mine are mine.
Sent as a joke to poetry.com, this poem is the 2003 winner of the Wergle Flomp parody poetry contest sponsored by Winning Writers.
Author Callaghan Howard received a cash prize of $817.70.
About Callaghan Howard
Born in November of 1985, Callaghan Howard has been writing poetry since she was seven.
Most of her work, however, takes a rather less farcical tone than that of "An Ode to Buns,"
which began as a joke poem for her mother, whose zany sense of humor continues to make life
interesting for everyone lucky enough to know her. Callaghan, never suspecting that she would
receive her first poetry award for "An Ode to Buns," is still in a mild state of shock.
She is now convinced that a sense of the ridiculous can be a very valuable thing.
Poetry.com has slated Ms. Howard's work for its Eternal Portraits Series,
available for $49.95 plus $8.00 shipping. This is a "classic, coffee-table quality hard-bound volume.
Features poem 'An Ode To Buns' on a full page by itself. Printed on fine-milled paper specifically
selected to last for generations. Approximately 250 pages."
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