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Contests : Wergle Flomp Free Poetry Contest : Past Winners : 2004 : Kakie Mashburn
UNTITLED
O subterranean jewel of starch and carb —
How do I love thee? Let me count the ways...
They dress you up in glorious crinkly garb,
Teasing me, in hopes of getting Lays.
And Pringles, how I love to hear you crunch,
Your precious bodies tube-stacked back to back.
Though relegated oftentimes to lunch,
For me, you are sheer sustenance, like crack.
Barbecue and sour cream and cheddar,
These flavorful patinas make me drool
Like Pavlov's dog — was it an Irish Setter?
(Though hopefully not one who eats his stool).
This sonnet has become most sick and vexing,
The jump from chips to feces is perplexing.
Sent as a joke to Poetry.com,
this poem won an honorable mention in the 2004 Wergle Flomp parody poetry contest sponsored by Winning Writers.
About Kakie Mashburn
Kakie (31) is the business manager for a research center at the Vanderbilt University School of Medicine in Nashville, TN.
She has a BA from the University of the South (a small liberal arts college in Sewanee, TN)
where she studied everything under the sun except political science. She has written scores of silly poems (mostly of the sonnet variety)
but does take time to churn out the occasional serious poem or short story.
Favorite themes include such riveting subject matter as Taco Bell, crack smoking, and Jackson family history.
She is currently working on a few more legitimate oeuvres, and with a writing style that falls somewhere between Seuss and Poe,
this woman is sure to go far either in food service or the custodial arts.
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