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Contests : Wergle Flomp Free Poetry Contest : Past Winners : 2007 : Arthur Virnig
THE PAJAMA'D ELEPHANT
Cheeseburger.
Cheeseburger,
Cheeseburger?
Cheeseburger!
who wants a pretty polyester noisemaking parrot death?
not I said the flat footed nonesuch—
applicator for ease of use and
never again will you need to wash dishes
without fear of retribution from all local authorities
will be handing out free samples of this and
many other carpets will stain if you pour
chateau
la
tour on
thems is my shootin' feet or
inches or
sometimes yards but never, ever soft
cheese compliments this and many other if you
do not have a wife or children or a dog or american
dreamz will return in a moment with all new cast
members only content ahead please be
advised that you are dull
and nobody really cares for your
taste the difference with new colfax whitening strips
apply now for a free packet of digestive
bisquick makes lovely pancakes as
well now look what you've done,
timmy will now give us a report on the
election is going as planned, lord vader
will strangle you haven't time to put on a
new collar workers struck out last week at
ten we will have reports from
the sight of the yellow bellied sapsucker implies that
all is well lit and spacious making it unnecessary to carry
pepper,
two cups chopped chives,
sautee for ten minutes until
all for one and three for a dollar.
Sent as a joke to Poetry.com, this poem won an honorable mention in the 2007 Wergle Flomp humor poetry contest sponsored by Winning Writers. Author Arthur Virnig received a cash prize of $72.95.
About Arthur Virnig
Arthur Virnig wrote under the name of Torsvald Gustavus Norbinger until it fell and fractured his skull. Since then he has been earning money by making documentaries and pretending he knows how to deal with children.
He lives in a small Missouri town, but will soon move to a slightly larger one to attend Truman State University.
Salvaged pages of his other works (primarily prose) are available at www.freewebs.com/mrpietermaritzburg.
He is seen here just before he came to the crushing realization that his telephone was disconnected.
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