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Contests : Wergle Flomp Free Poetry Contest : Past Winners : 2004 : Judge's Comments
Thanks to everyone who entered our 2004 Wergle Flomp Poetry Contest. We received a record 975 entries, each more disturbing than the last.
This year's winner, "The
Craven" by Chris Kuehn, displayed all the qualities we look for in a Wergle poem: a high level of poetic craftsmanship,
a manic glee in exploring the possibilities of language, and a hilarious mismatch between lofty style and base subject matter.
It is also, sad to say, utterly filthy.
By now, you may have developed some misconceptions about this contest. Here at Winning Writers, we are committed to the highest poetic ideals.
We are not just interested in sex and butt jokes. We want sex and butt jokes that have rhyme and meter.
Scansion, maybe a few metaphors,
synecdoche,
anaphora,
polysorbate
80 — these impress us. In short, technical merit.
Humorous poetry is no exception to the rule that quality requires care. Like a skater's perfectly executed triple jump,
it takes hard work behind the scenes for light verse to achieve the illusion of effortlessness. Don't confuse the effect with the process.
Many of the entries in this year's contest were unsuccessful because they seemed dashed-off, repeating old themes (gibberish, bodily functions)
with nothing to distinguish them from one another. A good spoof poem should believe in itself, take itself seriously — far more seriously than it deserves.
Bad poetry is funny because we feel superior to its pompous sincerity. Our third-prize poem,
"Ode on a Grecian
Formula" by S.L. Pierotti, is a perfect example.
Parodies were among our strongest entries this year, "The
Raven" being a perennial favorite.
The honorees also succeeded at denting the pedestals of Walt Whitman ("O
Captain! My Captain!"),
John Donne ("Death
Be Not Proud") and Robert Burns ("To
A Mouse"). Our second-prize poem, "Ron
Truman" by Tina Blevins,
may be the definitive work on the theme of Poetry.com's perfidy. We were blown away by its length and complexity,
including the poem-within-a-poem device. "Cruel Arabella!.../I prayed for thee when thou hadst salmonella."
Lines that Lord
Byron might well envy. Original odes to Twinkies,
Pringles and escargot rounded out the list.
Women dominated the winner's circle this year. Are they funnier? Sicker? Can men recover from this satiric onslaught?
We'll find out in our 2004-2005 contest, opening August 15, 2004.
We're increasing the prize pool once again.
It's now $1,609, with a top prize of $1,190. As always, entry is free. The deadline is April 1, 2005. Nicky
nacky noo!
Jendi Reiter
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