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Contests : Wergle Flomp Free Poetry Contest : Past Winners : 2004 : Lindsay MacPherson
TO A MOOSE
On hooking her up to a plough
Not so wee, sleekit, cow'rin tim'rous moosie
O, what a panic's in thy hoofsie
Thou need na be taken awa twas harsh
More dangerous than herding highland cattle
I rin an' chased thee from the marsh
Wi gonna need a really big pattle
I'm truly sorry thou canna be loose
I had to enslave thee brown moose
And just as thou are big and strong
I didn't mean to thee startle
Thou do not have a sharp prong
I am but a mortal
I doubt na, this could take awhile
What then? Poor moosie, I'll climb a stile
And the harness I'll attach and tie
Don't budge is my request
I'll get a blessing if I don't die
Because I know thou are piss't
That wee bit strap now in ruin
And the droppings a strewin!
If it's nae Scottish it's crap
O' foggy morn
I set up a moose trap
My muscles are now torn
Thou saw the fields laid bare an' waste
But I was comin' fast
And the trap thou tried to rin past
Thou once stood five feet tall
Still crash! Hooked up to something at last
I didn't mean to hurt thou at all
All I wanted was a pull for the plough
At the cost of a solitary moose cow
Now thou's turn'd out, it was too much trouble
The moose cannot pull
Me from my own rubble
Of being a brutal and selfish bull
But moosie, I have nothing to gain
Standing here as your enemy in vain
The best laid schemes O' Bullwinkle's wink
It's time to let loose
The scotch, ales, and moosehead I drink
As I free the she moose
Still thou art blest, compar'd wi 'me
Nature, I dare not toucheth thee
But och I will not be kicked in the pants
I will stay clear
Thou art free to enjoy the acquatic plants
I will miss you my Dear.
Sent as a joke to Pen Pushers Publications,
this poem won an honorable mention in the 2004 Wergle Flomp parody poetry contest sponsored by Winning Writers.
About Lindsay MacPherson
Ms. MacPherson is 24 years old, and a graduate of Charleston Southern University.
She is of the Clan Chattain and lives near Prescott, Ontario. When she’s not running or listening to the tunes of the bagpipes, she enjoys writing.
MacPherson is looking for a publisher and "To A Moose" is her first poem to be published.
"The poem is dedicated to Ali. I moose (miss) your mooselaneous collections.
I also miss the trips to Kamensky's, Super K, and the trips to get Moose Tracks ice cream."
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