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Contests : Wergle Flomp Free Poetry Contest : Past Winners : 2007 : Brad Hostetter
SONNET FROM THE PORCH, I GUESS
How do I hate thee? Let me count the ways.
I hate thee to the depth and breadth and height
That I could see myself starting a fight
And leaving indentations on your face.
I hate thee to the level of everyday's
Most urgent need, by porcelain tank of white.
I hate thee freely, as men leave the lid upright;
I hate thee purely, as they hate ballets.
I hate thee like a cat hates to be spayed.
I hate thee more than carb-cutters hate bread.
I hate thee more than rain hates a parade
And even more than toddlers wet the bed.
I hate thee more than hate hates Haterade
I shall but hate thee more until you're dead.
Sent as a joke to Poetry.com, this poem won an honorable mention in the 2007 Wergle Flomp humor poetry contest sponsored by Winning Writers. Author Brad Hostetter received a cash prize of $72.95.
About Brad Hostetter
Brad Hostetter will earn a BA in English from Ball State University in December, 2007. He then plans to enter the publishing industry while working toward an MFA in creative writing. Brad lives with his fiancee in Muncie, Indiana, where he happily takes out the trash and scoops out the cat poop in exchange for not having to do the dishes. See more of Brad's work at Jerry Jazz Musician and Literal Translations.
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