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Contests : Wergle Flomp Free Poetry Contest : Past Winners : 2007
We sought the best humor poems that have been submitted to "vanity contests" as a joke. These are contests that give the impression of being selective but are not. They praise poems indiscriminately, hoping to induce poets to buy their books, bowls and plaques.
Congratulations to our 2007 prizewinners Erica Angle-Newman, C. Wayne Lammers and Ed Coonce, and to our 12 honorable mentions and 12 finalists. Their poems were judged the best of the 901 entries we received. Cash prizes totaling $3,336.40 were awarded, and all prizewinners and honorable mentions received an official Winning Writers polo shirt.
Click the names below to view the winning entries and learn about the honorees. Read comments on the entries from contest judge Jendi Reiter. Read the press release announcing the winning entries.
First Prize
Erica Angle-Newman
"Pumpernickel"
Second Prize
C. Wayne Lammers
"The Castration of Sam McGee"
Third Prize
Ed Coonce
"And Now, The News"
Honorable Mentions
Tina Blevins, "Sonnets to the Mayonnaise"
Hilary Hanson, "One morning—I awoke"
Julie Henson, "Ode to My Remote Control"
Amber Herrick, "I Am a Grocery Bagger, and I Have Feelings!"
Brad Hostetter, "Sonnet From the Porch, I Guess"
Benjamin Taylor Lally, "In Memory of W.H. Gates"
Nicole Lawler, "No Title"
Rick Lupert, "Letter to a Gun from a Head of Oriental Lettuce"
Aunty Myrtle, "To the International Society of Poets"
Greg Schwartz, "Trees"
Arthur Virnig, "The Pajama'd Elephant"
Cory Zimmerman, "Sca-rat-ska-bat-tale: A Movement"
Finalists
Jennifer Crohn, "Ode to an Eighteen Wheeler"
Laura Harris-Hirsch, "This Is Just To Ask Because So Much Depends on Depends"
Ron Hayes, "Who Wins At Monopoly: Walt Whitman or Emily Dickinson?"
Alistair Isaac, "Song of the Humpback"
Constance Lambson, "Elegy for a Coffee Pot"
Michael Mendes, "Book of My Mother’s Old Blue Socks with the Little Duckies on Them - Verse 6:347"
Sarah Olano, "Do You Do Who?"
Samantha Stewart, "The Parody of Poets"
Benny Walter, "Avoiding Ducks"
Amy Yerkes, "Thinking of Susan"
Anonymous, "Marine salads wrap around mine eyes"
Anonymous, "I looked out the window"
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