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Contests : Wergle Flomp Free Poetry Contest : Past Winners : 2007 : Samantha Stewart
THE PARODY OF POETS
The world is charged parodies of poets
They will soon quit, like whiteheads winking open
They gather a greatness of rejection slips, like cat-lady gathers ringworm
And, outgrowing their angst and black jeans, get real jobs
Like marrying rich men and selling Mary-Kay
Or flipping burgers through grad school.
The world is smeared with trades of this kind—
And share ex-poets' smells and their soiled
sheets and dreams; nor can "The Writer" write, being
squelched for a nice desk-job.
But for all this, the phalse poet is never spent
But in his secret closets night-time finds a way
To scratch out verses of the sappiest feelings meant
And send then to poetry.com to display
Their closet art, under the pen-name "Dark Artist" and the like
And tho' their bosses and hubbies never know
That from them each nocturn new verse springs
And in them creativity's fart-fan continues to blow.
Sent as a joke to Poetry.com, this poem was a finalist in the 2007 Wergle Flomp humor poetry contest sponsored by Winning Writers. It is a parody of "God's Grandeur" by Gerard Manley Hopkins.
About Samantha Stewart
Samantha Stewart was big and pregnant. Now she's the proud mommy of the most remarkable small person in the world who has not yet chosen her eye color. She's married to the handsomest physicist in the world, who also happens to be green eyed. She only publishes poems on odd years in the summertime. Her work has appeared in Bottle Rockets, The Claremont Review, and all of the new, revised menus at the Dragon House in Riverside, CA. She will soon begin her last semester at BYU-Idaho, to finish her English BA and French Minor. Her eyes are brown.
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