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Contests : Wergle Flomp Free Poetry Contest : Past Winners : 2008
We sought the best humor poems that have been submitted to "vanity contests" as a joke. These are contests that give the impression of being selective but are not. They praise poems with little discrimination, hoping to induce poets to buy their books, bowls and plaques.
Congratulations to our 2008 prizewinners Benjamin Taylor Lally, Julie Porter and Sooja Jones, and to our 12 honorable mentions and 12 finalists. Their poems were judged the best of the 838 entries we received. Cash prizes totaling $3,336.40 were awarded, and all prizewinners and honorable mentions received an official Winning Writers polo shirt.
Click the names below to view the winning entries and learn about the honorees. Read comments on the entries from contest judge Jendi Reiter. Read the press release announcing the winning entries.
First Prize
Benjamin Taylor Lally
"First Edition, 2008"
Second Prize
Julie Porter
"The Rape of the Cock"
Third Prize
Sooja Jones
"Daft Idylls"
Honorable Mentions
Sean Adams, "Unfortunate Memory Candy"
Rachel Aubin, "Stopping by the Clinic on a Snowy Evening"
Lytton Bell, "Ten Uses for Cabbage"
Carole Davis, "Because I Could Not Stop You Darth"
Cody Jurs-Allen, "The Captain of Crunch"
Rick Lupert, "Oh My Thingies"
Bret Moylan, "The Pork Rinds"
Sean Munro, "Poetry is my Penis"
Rachel S. Neal, "A Lament to the World"
Andrew Periale, "Mad Personal Assistant's Song"
Rick Solomon, "Ode to Zingerman's Pulled Pork Sandwich"
Robert Warren, "The Probe"
Finalists
Matt Babcock, "Never Liked Ginsberg"
Justin Blackburn, "Upon the Steaming Sky"
James Dorr, "To Wednesday"
Cindy Fuerst, "The clown wears his toothless frown"
Raul Gallardo, "A Battle Between Hands"
Erich Hintze, "The Beautiful and Mysterious Rainbow"
John Langdon, "Yellow Daffodils"
Marty Lloyd, "To My Cabana Bowl (TM)"
Tom Mollica, "Sunset Memories"
William Schroeder, "O, Stubing! My Captain!"
Aaron Swersky, "Butterscotch Elephant Nipples"
John Thompson, "Although the black bear runs the marathon"
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