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Contests : Wergle Flomp Free Poetry Contest : Past Winners : 2008 : Aaron Swersky
BUTTERSCOTCH ELEPHANT NIPPLES
The torrid flump against the grain
My foundry grinds up to the pointy.
With apple cider I refrain
Announce my kidney, pointy pointy!
Cheshire wombats squelch my barm
The growing elbow grunts in pain.
Destroy my walrus with your farm
Almeda farted out her brain.
Grip your overcoat, my deer, the beer is punching out the fence.
How thonce, thine geese, my rubber fleece, is thusly thundered thence.
Your chowder's grain is sticking fire
Within my screen of shiny borscht
Umbrellas waltz in tainted mire
Deliver milk to SPARTA, SON!
My green rhythm watches porn
I found the shoe's balloon in jackets!
Lycanthropy's right nipple's morn
My sparring baboon's is attack its!
Cord your bored, ignored tricorder, Trek my papers free
Good gravy! I passed kidney stones like bricks from out of me!
Uvulas like leopards squeal
Chrysanthemum is hard to spell.
Your broomstick's handle has appeal
I don't know how to rhyme this line.
My asthma has miasmas, Olaf
Your waffle iron spouts "Your mom!"
NEVER SHOP AT WAL-MART
THEIR PRICES ARE TOO HIGH
Sent as a joke to Poetry.com, this poem was a finalist in the 2008 Wergle Flomp humor poetry contest sponsored by Winning Writers.
About Aaron Swersky
Aaron Swersky is seventeen feet tall and farts lightning bolts. He spends his days sewing socks for horses who have dreams of becoming ninja, so that they can sneak better. When not teaching ninjitsu to equines, Aaron Swersky roams the streets as a crimefighter with his midget wookie Bobo, flinging turnips at evildoers with his trademark battle cry, "That's what SHE said!"
Aaron Swersky is, of course, barking mad.
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