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Contests : Wergle Flomp Free Poetry Contest : Past Winners : 2008 : Robert Warren
THE PROBE
I was a victim of an anal probe.
One night, I became a victim of an alien abduction.
Now, I'm a xenophobe.
I was transported into an odd shaped globe
where I beheld a voluptuous alien—I hoped I was about to become a victim of alien seduction
I was a victim of an anal probe.
The alien had me disrobe
while she held a rod of unknown construction.
Now, I'm a xenophobe.
When she had me bend over and spread my cheeks, I began to sob.
To alien technology I received a rude introduction.
I was a victim of an anal probe.
She shoved it in and pulled it out so fast—oh what a throb!
It went in so deep over are my days of sexual reproduction.
Now, I'm a xenophobe.
As she kicked me out of her ship, she told me probing was her job
to help qualify members for a focus group on hemorrhoid destruction.
I was a victim of an anal probe.
Now, I'm a xenophobe.
Sent as a joke to Poetry.com, this poem won an honorable mention in the 2008 Wergle Flomp humor poetry contest sponsored by Winning Writers. Author Robert Warren received a cash prize of $72.95.
About Robert Warren
Robert Warren is a materials management specialist. Robert currently resides in Carson City, NV with Tamar, his wife, and Brian, his son. The household includes several cats and shelties.
When it comes to writing poetry, Robert enjoys utilizing the villanelle format. Robert's defense mechanism is humor and Robert finds the villanelle the perfect vehicle for himself for chronicling the absurdities he observes in today's modern world. Robert has had villanelles published, and his villanelles have also won several awards.
Robert, Tamar, and Brian enjoy the outdoors in Nevada. The three are avid backpackers, hikers, fishermen, and four wheelers. In the picture below, he is in the front of the jet ski.
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