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Contests : Wergle Flomp Free Poetry Contest : Past Winners : 2009 : Paul Hlava
WARNING
This product may cause excitability in children
Do not use this product if you are pregnant
Consult your doctor if you are ill
Do not use this product if you will be pregnant
Do not shake this product
Do not leave this product out of sight for 48 hours
It is lonely
Do not make loud noises around this product
Do not look directly at this product
Do not hold this product
This product may cause baldness,
Obesity, impotence, irreversible communism,
Homosexuality in heterosexual men
And heterosexuality in homosexual men
Do not use this product on the deceased
Do not use this product if you will be deceased
Do not taunt this product
This product may cause bird flu
Your teeth may turn into lit cigarettes
Your hair may become carnivorous earwigs
You will sneeze out mouthfuls of mice wearing parachutes
When you smile you will spontaneously combust
If you've read until the end it's already too late
Sent as a joke to PoetryPoem.com, this poem won an honorable mention in the 2009 Wergle Flomp humor poetry contest sponsored by Winning Writers. Author Paul Hlava received a cash prize of $72.95.
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