|
|
 |
Contests : Wergle Flomp Free Poetry Contest : Past Winners : 2009 : L. Rigdon
F*CK GLOBAL WARMING AND ALL YOU DAMN HIPPIES
(A parody to the tune of "This Little Light of Mine")
This little light of mine
I'm going to let it shine
Wasting energy all the time
I'm going to let it shine
PG&E gonna give me a fine
I'm gonna let it shine
Every day, every way, let it shine.
This little light of mine
Fossil fuels will make it shine
Don't need no clean energy turbine
I'll let the fossil fuels make it shine
Pollution makes a pretty sky line
So I'm gonna let it shine
Every day, every way, let it shine.
This little light of mine
Shining out my car's headlights
Making animals targets of mine
P.E.T.A.'s gonna lose its mind
This little light of mine
I'm gonna let it shine
Every day, every way, let it shine.
This little light of mine
It's gonna light Bambi's hide
This deer is gonna die
Gonna make P.E.T.A. cry
When my gun shoots through his side
I'm going to let it shine
Every day, every way, let it shine.
This little light of mine
Shining on studies done right
Following the scientific method guidelines
Not biased studies for ratings and headlines
The liberal media's telling lies
On CNN's Hard-Line
Every day, every way, all the time.
This little light of mine
Making global warming worse all the time
CO2 is gonna make us fry
Glaciers gonna melt, plants gonna die
Won't happen 'til 4499
But the damn hippies can't count that high
So wave bye-bye, to those guys, as we fry.
This little light of mine
The hippies protest every time
Saying we'll glow-in-the-dark all the time
When the reactors go off-line
Then I won't need this light of mine
'Cuz we're all gonna shine all the time
Let us shine! Let us shine! Let us shine!
Sent as a joke to Poetry.com, this poem won an honorable mention in the 2009 Wergle Flomp humor poetry contest sponsored by Winning Writers. Author L. Rigdon received a cash prize of $72.95.
About L. Rigdon
This poem was the result of undergraduate-research-burnout and 2 a.m.—because everything is funnier at 2 a.m.
L. Rigdon is currently a freelance writer specializing in working her tail off and making a professional name for herself. She has been working on many projects for clients relating to nonfiction research articles and books predominantly in human resources and other business-related fields. Her schedule allows her time to work on some personal projects, including a fiction novel that is soon to be completely edited and ready to submit out to literary agents and publishers. Other than being a writer, L. is a grad student at California State University, Stanislaus, studying Renaissance and 20th-century literature, with a focus on gender studies. Visit the website of her editorial-services business at http://www.lrigdon.com/ for help with your creative or professional writing projects.
Ms. Rigdon would like to thank the staff at Winning Writers for giving her this opportunity and awarding her with honorable mention. She would also like to thank her loving husband, Robert, who encourages most of her 2 a.m. silliness.
|
|