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Award-Winning Poems: Fall 2011
One of the "101 Best Websites for Writers"
Writer's Digest, 2005-2011
Welcome to our Fall 2011 selection of award-winning poems. These quarterly specials are included with your free Winning Writers Newsletter subscription. We'll release our next regular newsletter on September 15.
Lost one of our newsletters? Formatting appears odd? Too wide when viewed in email? Not to worry. All our recent newsletters are posted online at http://www.winningwriters.com/news
SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT ABOUT OUR WAR POETRY CONTEST
After ten years, we have decided to retire our War Poetry Contest. The winners of the 2011 contest will be announced on November 15. We thank the many fine poets who shared their powerful words with us. We have more than met our goal of recognizing nuanced and ethical reflection about the conflicts that plague our world.
We are launching a new annual competition. The Sports Poetry & Prose Contest will open on November 15, with a deadline of May 31, 2012. This contest seeks poetry, fiction, and literary nonfiction on sports-related themes. The top poetry and prose entries will each win $1,500. A total of $5,000 will be awarded. Read advice from final judge Jendi Reiter, and let the games begin!
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FEATURED SPONSOR'S MESSAGE
Last Call!
15th Annual Robert Frost Foundation Annual Poetry Award
Postmark/Email Submission Deadline: September 15
The Robert Frost Foundation welcomes poems in the spirit of Robert Frost for its 15th Annual Award. The winner will receive $1,000 and an invitation to present the winning poem on Saturday, October 22, 2011 at the Frost Festival located at the Lawrence Public Library in Lawrence, Massachusetts. The theme of the 15th Annual Festival is "Robert Frost and the Art of the Sonnet".
Please submit two copies of each poem, one copy with contact information (name, address, phone number, email address) and one copy free of all identifying information. Reading fees are $10 per poem (send fees via regular mail, please). Make your check payable to The Robert Frost Foundation. Mail your entry to: The Robert Frost Foundation, Attn: Poetry Award, Lawrence Public Library - 3rd Floor, 51 Lawrence Street, Lawrence, MA 01841. Include a self-addressed stamped envelope (SASE) or an email address if you'd like to receive the contest results. Email submissions are accepted at frostfoundation@comcast.net if you send your entry fee by regular mail.
You may submit up to three poems of no more than three pages each. Both published and unpublished works are accepted. See the complete contest guidelines at www.frostfoundation.org and more on recent winners.
Please enjoy "The Great Disappointment" by Adam Tavel, winner of our 2010 competition. Listen to Mr. Tavel read his poem.
The Great Disappointment
by Adam Tavel
Boston, 1844
It was a shock to find themselves alive,
unrobed, the great blue veil of sky
intact and hiding still its long beard
of riddles. But to slander them fools
is like damning an ivy tangle
for its sluggish creep toward light
though I must confess when Walsh
offered a sorrel for the kingdom
was at hand I took his mare without
reaching for my billfold. Some travesty
of arithmetic William Miller preached.
True, I joined the mob heckling
their dour rapture, their gingham
wives scraping through town,
but that first October night of frost
when their ramshackle pulpit burned
I heaved my bucket with the rest,
cursing the bigot flames that licked
the new dawn red. A busted Lutheran
I combed the beach of my mind
for a psalm and found it free
of shells and kelp and even driftwood
splinters from a spongy wreck
melted by the steady weep of waves.
Why stooped old maids mumbled
toothless matins for the match-hand
while our faces flared
a ghoulish orange in the blaze
is beyond any reason I can reckon.
I suppose my soul is like Walsh's mare
that bucked and spit three long days
I lacked sense and called her mine
until her wheat-stalk leg
snapped mid-sprint, the dagger bone
sprouting from her skin.
In and out of my falling dream
I laid on stinking straw
until a cold sun shone her wound
true in all its gore. No boy's will
nestled in my chest's locket
could keep a Winchester shelved
or save her long sleep there
by the forked willow, where father
buried every bareback he ever rode
and when the strong rye blessed him
with a faith no wife's eyes saw
he dug his nails into his palms, out
where a son can't tell his bones from theirs.
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RECENT HONORS FOR OUR NEWSLETTER SUBSCRIBERS
Winning Writers editor Jendi Reiter's poems "touching story" and "Inheriting a House Fire" were chosen as the Editor's Pick from the 2011 Solstice Literary Contest and appeared in their summer awards issue. The most recent deadline for this contest, offering prizes of $500 for poetry and $1,000 for prose, was April 5.
Congratulations to Sandra Jensen. An excerpt from her novel-in-progress, Tell Me In Tamil, won the 2011 J.G. Farrell Award from the West Cork Literary Festival. The competition was judged by Gillian Slovo. This award is for the best novel-in-progress by a writer resident in Munster (a province of Ireland). The winner receives free admission to the Halfway Through workshop and a week's accommodation in the Maritime Hotel, Bantry. The most recent deadline was May 15.
Congratulations to Babo Kamel. Her poem "Sometimes the Dead" won the 2011 Charlotte Newberger Prize for Poetry from LILITH Magazine. The most recent deadline for this $150 prize, which seeks poems with Jewish and feminist themes, was December 15.
Congratulations to Ben Murray. He won the Spring 2011 Jerry Jazz Musician Fiction Contest for his short story "The Open Marriage". Ben found this opportunity in the Winning Writers newsletter. This thrice-yearly free contest offers $100 and online publication for short fiction that would appeal to the Jerry Jazz reader's interests in music, social history, literature, politics, art, film and theatre, particularly that of the counter-culture of mid-20th century America. The next deadline will be September 30.
Congratulations to Debby Cooper. Her poem "When Apollo Was Not So Stellar" was one of seven honorable mentions in the Spring 2011 Odes to the Olympians Poetry Contest. This twice-yearly free contest offers $50 apiece in adult and youth categories for unpublished poems up to 30 lines about Greek and Roman mythology. It is sponsored by Victoria Grossack and Alice Underwood, authors of The Tapestry of Bronze, a series of historical novels set in the ancient world. The Fall 2011 contest, for poems about Artemis (Diana), is accepting entries through November 30.
Congratulations to James S. Dorr. His book of poetry on vampires and things vampiric, Vamps (A Retrospective), was released in August by Sam's Dot Publishing, with illustrations by Marge B. Simon. He kindly shares a sample poem below. Visit his blog to learn about his other poetry and short story collections.
RECENT HONORS FOR POETRY CONTEST INSIDER SUBSCRIBERS
Congratulations to Charlotte Muse. She was the co-winner, with Christopher Bursk, of the first prize in the 2011 Allen Ginsberg Poetry Awards from the Poetry Center at Passaic County Community College. Her winning poem was titled "My Father's Violin". This prestigious award series offers prizes up to $1,000 and publication in The Paterson Literary Review. The next deadline will be April 1.
RECENT PUBLICATION CREDITS FOR OUR SUBSCRIBERS
Nicole Nicholson's poem "Lamppost Hierophant" was published in Shift Journal, an online journal exploring the creative perspectives of people with autism.
Shirley Barasch's memoir For Professional Purposes: An Artistic Journey is now available from CreateSpace at Amazon.com. From the book cover: "By age four-and-a-half, Shirley 'Sorahlah' Barasch shows artistic gifts: writing 'pomes' before she can spell or pronounce the words; playing the 'pyeano' by ear—her 'parlor trick' according to her father. But suddenly tragedy strikes! Thrown into a strict religious social order not ready for a woman—let alone a young girl—to be independent and creative, Sorahlah adapts on the fly. She re-orders her daily routine squeezing in piano lessons, writing music, and poetry—often on the sly by flashlight under the covers—in order to achieve her dream. Shirley invites the reader on a visual and sensory journey of a gifted, determined girl through the depression and World War II years in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania."
Gerardo Mena's poem "The Last Bullet Has Sounded" was accepted by the literary journal Spillway, a publication of Tebot Bach, for their Fall 2011 issue. His poem "So I Was a Coffin", which won first prize in the 2010 Winning Writers War Poetry Contest, was chosen by D.A. Powell for the 2011 Best New Poets anthology sponsored by the literary journal Meridian. Best New Poets is an annual anthology of 50 poems from emerging writers. Each year, a guest editor selects 50 poems from nominations made by literary magazines and writing programs, as well as an Open Internet Competition. The next submission period will open in April 2012.
Carrie Backe had four poems published in the Summer 2011 issue of The Blue Guitar Magazine, a project of the Arizona Consortium for the Arts. Current and back issues can be read online.
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CONTESTS HOSTED AT WINNING WRITERS & OPEN NOW
All entries that win cash prizes in these contests will be published on WinningWriters.com (over one million page views per year) and announced in the Winning Writers Newsletter, with over 35,000 subscribers.
Closing This Month
Tom Howard/John H. Reid Poetry Contest
Postmark Deadline: September 30
Now in its ninth year, this contest seeks poems in any style, theme or genre. You may submit work that has been published or won prizes elsewhere, as long as you own the online publication rights. Prizes of $3,000, $1,000, $400 and $250 will be awarded, plus six Most Highly Commended Awards of $150 each. The entry fee is $7 for every 25 lines you submit. Submit online or by mail. Early submission encouraged. This contest is sponsored by Tom Howard Books and assisted by Winning Writers. Judges: John H. Reid and Dee C. Konrad. See the complete guidelines and past winners.
Tom Howard/John H. Reid Short Story Contest
Postmark Deadline: March 31, 2012
Now in its 20th year. Prizes of $3,000, $1,000, $400 and $250 will be awarded, plus six Most Highly Commended Awards of $150 each. Submit any type of short story, essay or other work of prose, up to 5,000 words. You may submit work that has been published or won prizes elsewhere, as long as you own the online publication rights. $15 entry fee. Submit online or by mail. Early submission encouraged. This contest is sponsored by Tom Howard Books and assisted by Winning Writers. Judges: John H. Reid and Dee C. Konrad. See the complete guidelines and past winners.
Wergle Flomp Humor Poetry Contest (no fee)
Online Submission Deadline: April 1, 2012
Winning Writers invites you to enter the 11th annual Wergle Flomp Humor Poetry Contest. We'll award $3,600, including a top prize of $1,500. Submit one humor poem online. No length limit. Both published and unpublished poems are welcome. No fee to enter. Final judge: Jendi Reiter. See the complete guidelines and past winners.
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WHAT THE GHOST KNOWS
by Jennifer Boyden
Winner of the 2010 Brittingham Poetry Prize
Postmark Deadline: September 30
The University of Wisconsin Press sponsors this long-running, prestigious $2,500 award for a full-length poetry manuscript. Boyden's The Mouths of Grazing Things was the 2010 winner. In this quirky philosophical poem, a hapless but well-meaning spirit tries some offbeat experiments to make sense of the living world, but is there any sense to be made?
IT IS BECAUSE I HAVE NO OTHER HIDING PLACE – PETRARCH 102
by Lynne Martin Bowman
Winner of the 2009 Jessie Bryce Niles Chapbook Competition
Postmark Deadline: September 30
This award of $1,000 for a poetry chapbook manuscript is offered by The Comstock Review in odd-numbered years only. The poems in Bowman's prizewinning collection, Water Never Sleeps, are each titled with lines from Petrarch. This elegiac selection contrasts an elderly relative's decline with the vibrant summer day outside the nursing home, as the narrator struggles to make a conversational connection between them.
WHEN PANDORA OPENED HER BOX SHE FOUND and other poems
by Danielle Cadena Deulen
Winner of the 2011 Miller Williams Poetry Prize
Postmark Deadline: October 31
The University of Arkansas Press offers this $5,000 award for a full-length poetry manuscript. In these selections from Deulen's prizewinning book Lovely Asunder, girls' intuitions of the divine make them wiser, despite their fragility, than the boys and gods who try to control the official story.
We are gathering a growing library of award-winning poems in Poetry Contest Insider, over 125 to date. Enjoy a wide range of today's best work. Sign up for a free trial. Learn more below.
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TRY POETRY CONTEST INSIDER - NOW PROFILING OVER 1,250 LITERARY CONTESTS
If you enjoy using The Best Free Poetry Contests, consider upgrading to Poetry Contest Insider. The Best Free Poetry Contests profiles the 150 or so poetry contests that are free to enter. With your Poetry Contest Insider subscription, you'll get access to all of our 1,250+ active poetry and prose contest profiles. Search and sort contests by deadline, prize, fee, recommendation level and more. We don't just list contests, we point you to the ones that will gain the most attention for your work, whether you are just starting out or are well-established. Exclusive interviews with contest judges and editors help you understand how your submissions are evaluated.
We update Poetry Contest Insider nearly every day. Be among the first to learn about new contests and late deadline changes. Access to Poetry Contest Insider is just $9.95 per quarter, with a free 10-day trial at the start. Cancel at any time.
Most contests charge entry fees. You can easily spend hundreds of dollars and many hours entering these contests each year. Don't waste your time or money. Out of hundreds of contests, there might only be two or three dozen that are especially appropriate for your work. We help you find them fast. Learn more about Poetry Contest Insider.
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"Your website is still the highlight of my life. I use it every day. I have had positive feedback from several editors and judges, have won some contests, and have been accepted for publication several times. I have also enjoyed the links for reading more poetry and learning more about the craft."
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"...about a year ago I shifted my writing focus (novels, nonfiction) to poetry. I use your site exclusively to select contests. I've won, placed, and/or published 13 poems. The site is great. I can't imagine how much time it would take to search contests out and qualify them one at a time."
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2008 WAR POETRY CONTEST—HONORABLE MENTION
ON THE DEATHS OF THOSE WE DO NOT KNOW
by Michael Joyce
The spirit of truth bears another name which is even more revealing;
it is also the spirit of fidelity, and I am more and more convinced that
what this spirit demands of us is an explicit refusal, a definite negation
of death. (Gabriel Marcel)
Woke thinking of the motley the technicians and nurses now wear
and how it is likely one will be given over to them sooner or later,
the calliope of the ICU, the ringmaster on the PA, all idiotic anxiety.
Go back to school the morning paper more or less advises, a man
your age can look forward to twenty point five years average life
expectancy, as if an average life were what one sought, the fisherman
in Tikrit who held his fish aloft to the gunship, shouting "Fish! Fish!"
was mowed down for his trouble when he bent to still the engine,
his family receiving a multi-colored cardboard chit, his life worth
a thousand dollars, courtesy of the US Army. Now Vonnegut gone
none of your business, none of it, no matter what the emailed obituary
or the son who for years toted the books around in their carnival colors
as his father and uncles had before. The newspaper is full of news
the ants still busy upon the counter near the toaster and cutting board
before you rub down the formica in chemical warfare. There should be
angels, evident ones, monstrous creatures whose mutant shoulders bloom
with scruffy wings stained at their ends like the fingers of the man reading
the morning paper, smelly things who cannot be exterminated or ignored
swaggering in stained robes along the sidewalks and dripping with bling,
bullies of pure being, ghastly reminders how that we differ from them
and our commonality with smaller orders of winged life, drab of wrens
forlorn sparrows constantly on guard as they pick among cinders.
Elsewhere in the edition color photos of men who have begun families
at an advanced age looking lovingly on their pretty pre-teen daughters,
they hope, they say, to live long enough to walk them down the aisle;
who dare gainsay them? who summon the circus cortege out of season?
Copyright 2008 Michael Joyce
This poem won an honorable mention in the 2008 War Poetry Contest sponsored by Winning Writers. Author Michael Joyce received a $100 award. See the judge's comments on the winning poems from this contest.
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SPONSORS' MESSAGES
Closing Next Month
10TH ANNUAL FUNDSFORWRITERS ESSAY CONTEST
Entries must be received via email by October 31
Our 10th annual contest seeks nonfiction submissions. First prize $400. Five additional cash prizes. Zero entry fee and $5 entry fee categories. Theme: "Diligence". Limit 750 words. Guidelines at www.fundsforwriters.com/annualcontest.htm. Chosen by Writer's Digest for its 101 Best Websites for Writers designation for 2001-2011.
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Writer's Digest is
proud to announce 6 new short story genre competitions!
Science
Fiction/Fantasy | Thriller | Crime
| Young Adult | Romance | Horror
It's as simple as this: choose your
genre. Start writing.
No prompts, no pressure, no limits. Enter your most imaginative work in
4,000 words or less. Each and every one of the 6 new competitions offers the
chance to win $1,000!
Concoct a thriller. Tingle spines with a
horror. Melt cold hearts with a tender romance. Whatever genre you prefer,
whatever story you want to tell — we have the competition for you.
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Closing This Month
Connecticut River Review Poetry Contest
Postmark Deadline: September 30
The Connecticut Poetry Society is pleased to announce that the Connecticut River Review Poetry Contest is accepting submissions. Please note that the deadline for submissions is now September 30. The judge is Edwina Trentham. All poets are welcome. You do not need to reside in Connecticut or belong to the Connecticut Poetry Society.
We offer prizes of $400, $200, and $100. Winning poems will be published in the Connecticut River Review. Honorable Mentions may also receive publication. For your $15 entry fee (make check out to CPS) you may enter three unpublished poems, up to 80 lines each. Multiple and simultaneous submissions are acceptable if you notify us immediately upon acceptance elsewhere. Last year's winners are not eligible for this year's contest.
Please submit two copies of each poem, one with contact info and one completely anonymous. Include a self-addressed stamped envelope (SASE) for contest results. No poems will be returned—please keep a copy. Mail your work to CRR Contest, CPS, P.O. Box 270554, West Hartford, CT 06127.
The Connecticut Poetry Society is a state-wide community of poets dedicated to the promotion and enjoyment of poetry. CPS has a 35-year tradition of excellence in publishing work of national and Connecticut poets. Our mission is to support poetry with chapter meetings, contests, and events for CPS members throughout the state. More information on this contest and on our organization can be found at www.ct-poetry-society.org.
 CUTTHROAT, A JOURNAL OF THE ARTS, announces the 2011 Joy Harjo Poetry Prize and the Rick Demarinis Short Story Prize
Postmark Deadline: October 1
$1,250 FIRST PRIZE/$250 SECOND PRIZE plus Publication
Honorable Mentions are also published
JUDGES: ALISON HAWTHORNE DEMING, POETRY
LUIS ALBERTO URREA, SHORT FICTION
GUIDELINES:
For those who enter by regular mail: SASE REQUIRED! Enter as often as you wish. For each submission, send up to three poems (100-line limit/one poem per page) or one short story (5,000 word limit/double spaced) in 12-point font, a cover sheet with name, address, phone & email, title(s) of submission, SASE for announcement of winners (we recycle all manuscripts) and a $15 entry fee per submission made to CUTTHROAT, A JOURNAL OF THE ARTS, P.O. Box 2414, Durango, CO 81302.
For those who enter online: Click on the button at the bottom of the Contest page on our website: www.cutthroatmag.com. Fill out our online form. There are separate forms for each genre. You will be charged $17 for each submission. A submission consists of three poems (100-line limit/one poem per page) or one short story (5,000 word limit/double spaced) in 12-point font. Contest deadline is Midnight, October 1.
For all entrees: UNPUBLISHED WORK ONLY! No author name may appear anywhere on the manuscript. Multiple submissions are OK, but we must be informed immediately of acceptances elsewhere. All finalists are considered for publication. All winners published in CUTTHROAT and announced on our website, in POETS & WRITERS and AWP WRITER'S CHRONICLE. No relative, student or staff member of CUTTHROAT is eligible to enter our contests.
Congratulations to our 2010 winners:
1st Place Joy Harjo Poetry Prize: Christopher Burawa from Clarksville, TN for "AGRIMENSURA OF THE MIRE: ARNESSYSLA"
2nd Place Joy Harjo Poetry Prize: Curtis Bauer of Lubbock, TX for "Whiteout"
Honorable Mentions: Amanda Achter of Houston, TX for "Night Feeding with Kangaroo Pump, 1985" and John Blair of San Marcos, TX for "Sutra for the Passing of Mary, Beloved"
1st Place Rick DeMarinis Short Fiction Prize: Steve Fayer of Boston, MA for "Matt Cahill Tells All"
2nd Place Rick DeMarinis Short Fiction Prize: Cynthia Walker of Santa Barbara, CA for "An Interested Party"
Honorable Mention: Dwight Holing of Orinda, CA for "Matterhorn"
Closing Next Month
The Missouri Review's Editors' Prize: Over $15,000 in Prizes
Postmark Deadline: October 1
Submit your best poetry, fiction, and essays. Winners in each genre receive $5,000, a featured publication in our spring issue, and a trip to Columbia, MO for a gala reading and reception. Three finalists in each genre receive cash prizes and will also be considered for publication. $20 contest fee includes a one-year subscription to The Missouri Review.
Entries must be previously unpublished and will not be returned. Please include no more than 25 typed,
double-spaced pages for fiction and nonfiction. Poetry entries can include any number of poems up to
10 pages in total. Each story, essay, or group of poems constitutes one entry. Submit online or by mail. Click for the complete guidelines.
Please enjoy this excerpt from "The Long Net" by Anna Solomon, the winning entry in our 2010 fiction competition.
The summer I was ten, among other troubles, there was a heat wave unlike anyone could remember, including my
mother, whose memory was as strong as most people's forgetting. Heat is shocking when you're close to the ocean but not in it. It feels like an injustice, a spectacle—even children do things they might not otherwise do.
This was in Gloucester, Massachusetts. Most of my friends were off at camp or occupied with sailing lessons or
whatever other private school pursuits my parents deemed would interfere with a child's imagination and resourcefulness. (They could not have said they didn't have the money or that I was already on scholarship for school; they thought of themselves as having money and just choosing not to use it.) I was not allowed to go to the beach, for fear of sunburn.
But I was allowed, for reasons that must have been grounded in progressive educational theory, to wander into the woods behind our house, which were large and dark and which led, eventually, if you went all the way up the
hill and back down the other side, out onto the asphalt steppes of Shultz's Sunny Campground.
Shultz's was not the kind of campground my parents had taken me to up in Maine, with tent sites and fire pits spread out beneath pine trees. It was owned by Tammy Rinata's family, who'd notoriously fought to build an amusement park on the old drive-in land and lost, and whose clientele—older people who spent their winters down in Florida or inland people who'd come to town for summer work—stayed in RVs and camper-trailers. The Rinatas lived at the campground, too. Most people called them the Shultzes, which was Tammy's mother's maiden name and also the name of Tammy's grandmother, who ran the campground and who was called, by everyone, Bubbe. I knew Tammy from soccer league—the only part of my life where I met public school kids. I barely considered her a friend except in summer, when I was lonely. My father had told me never to feel lonely, but I did. He said loneliness was the result of boredom, and boredom meant you weren't taking responsibility for your gifts. So on top of my loneliness, there was a certain shame.
If I arrived early enough at the campground, I was invited down into Bubbe's cool "parlor" for a late breakfast of hot dogs. The Schultz women were fat, but Tammy and her sister, Gloria, were skinny, like their father, who
did most of the work at Schultz's, and because Tammy's mother resented her girls for this—"Eye-talian stringbeans!"—she was always sending them to Bubbe's finished half-basement to be fattened up. I had never entertained the notion that hot dogs might qualify as food or that one might eat them indoors, free of bun and relish. On Bubbe's fine china, lolling naked in their glistening oil alongside potato chips and a pond of ketchup, they were terrifying. Two each we were served, like two fingers, or two penises, of which I knew nothing except that they might be a little like hot dogs. As I chewed, I tried not to touch them with my tongue and not to gag. That they'd been handled by a woman called Bubbe—without fork or tongs—repulsed me further. I was Unitarian-Universalist, raised to believe in my own capacity for compassion, tolerance, even love, if necessary, but Tammy's life seemed to me an undeniably crude thing. I was drawn to it as one is drawn to lives that appear poorer than one's own...
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Closing Next Month
Open City's 2011 RRofihe Trophy Short Story Contest
Postmark Deadline: October 15
8th year! The RRofihe Trophy for an unpublished short story! Limit: 5,000 words. Winner receives: $500, trophy, an announcement on the Open City website, followed by publication on the anderbo.com website. Judge: Rick Rofihe, assisted by Carolyn Wilsey.
Guidelines:
- Stories should be typed, double-spaced, on 8 1/2" x 11" paper with the author's name and contact information on the first page and name and story title on the upper right corner of the remaining pages
- Limit one submission per author
- Author must not have been previously published in Open City or on Anderbo.com
- Mail submissions to:
RRofihe
270 Lafayette Street, Suite 705
New York, NY 10012
- Enclose a self-addressed stamped business envelope (SASE) to receive names of winner and honorable mentions
- All manuscripts are non-returnable and will be recycled
- Reading fee is $10. Check or money order payable to RRofihe
- See the complete guidelines at http://opencity.org/the-rrofihe-trophy
Rick Rofihe is the author of FATHER MUST, a collection of short stories published by Farrar, Straus & Giroux. His fiction has appeared in The New Yorker, Grand Street, Open City, Swink, Unsaid, and on epiphanyzine, slushpilemag and fictionaut. His nonfiction has appeared in The New York Times, The Village Voice, SPY, and The East Hampton Star, and on mrbellersneighborhood. A recipient of the Whiting Writers' Award, he has taught MFA writing at Columbia University. He currently teaches privately in New York City, and is an advisor to The Vilcek Foundation for their 2011 prizes in the field of literature. Rick is the editor of the new online literary journal, anderbo.com.
Closing Next Month
DANA AWARDS, OUR SIXTEENTH YEAR
Postmark Deadline: October 31
IF YOU'RE A GILA MONSTER FOR WRITING, SEND US YOUR WORK.
Writing is a profession for talented, imaginative, sensitive Gila monsters (legend claims that when a Gila monster clamps its jaws on something it won't let go).
For 16 years, since 1996, we've been offering writers encouragement with the Dana Awards in the Novel, Short Fiction, and Poetry.
This year, we've added a new award, in the Essay.
$1,000 WILL BE AWARDED IN EACH CATEGORY.
For crucial guidelines, see www.danaawards.com, email danaawards@pipeline.com or danaawards@gmail.com, or send a self-addressed stamped envelope (SASE) to Dana Awards, 200 Fosseway Drive, Greensboro, NC 27455.
What We Are Seeking
All work must be original and compelling, yet not sensational merely for the sake of sensation, with well-developed themes, and written in a style that exhibits love of language and mastery of craft.
If fiction, whether literary, mainstream, or genre fiction, the characters must be fully drawn, not stereotypes, and must be engaged in conflicts (either internal or external) that are compelling and show forward momentum.
Whether poetry, fiction, or nonfiction, if it's a universal story (love, death, loss, coming of age, moral responsiveness or failure to respond), it must be told in a fresh way.
Poems, whether formal or free-verse, must exhibit music and rhythm in the use of language, syntax, line breaks, and structure. A group of words thoughtlessly slung lengthwise down a page is not a free-verse poem; it's a group of words that needs to be made into a poem. A group of words that plays with language, without attempting meaning, is an exercise, not a poem.
WHAT I'VE LEARNED
In 16 years of managing the Dana Awards, I've learned there are thousands of excellent writers out there, which is a heartening but frightening thing: heartening for the sake of literature, but frightening because of the sheer numbers of us writers looking for recognition.
If you're a Gila monster for writing, send us your work.
Mary Elizabeth Parker, Chair, Dana Awards
Please enjoy this poem by Julie Weber of Ashland, Oregon, part of her five-poem manuscript that received the 2010 Dana Award in Poetry. (The award is given based on the excellence of not just one, but of all poems submitted.)
Ellipsis
by Julie Weber
The three legged cat's paw prints in the first November snow.
A spray of Guara in September, gathering light
like splayed fireflies as the sun sets. The way
silence stretches each drop of rain from the corner gutter
to the ground. The spray of moles across your stomach.
The way I can't tell if you are alive until I lean
close enough to hear your breath, slow heaving.
Three beeswax candles on the altar at dawn. The lobes
of Trillium wide in the Oredson Todd woods.
The number of times we have quit and come back together.
The number of worn holes on your leather belt.
The stars of the sign Orion cutting the glyph of winter to sky.
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Now Open
Tupelo Press Dorset Prize
Postmark Deadline: December 31
The Dorset Prize includes a cash award of $3,000, publication by Tupelo Press, a book launch, and national distribution with energetic publicity and promotion. The final judge for this year's contest is Tom Sleigh.
All finalists will be considered for publication. Results announced in April 2012.
The Dorset Prize is open to anyone writing in English, whether living in the United States or abroad. We welcome published or unpublished authors. Translations are not eligible. The contest is competitive. Simultaneous submissions to other publishers or contests are permitted; notify Tupelo Press promptly if your manuscript is accepted elsewhere.
Submit a previously unpublished, full-length poetry manuscript of between 48 and 88 pages (of poems). Include two cover pages: one with title only, the other with title, your name, address, phone, and email. Include a table of contents and, if applicable, an acknowledgments page for poems previously published in periodicals. For notification of receipt of manuscript, include a SASP. For notification of the winner, enclose a SASE. Manuscripts will not be returned.
A reading fee of $28 by check (payable to Tupelo Press) or via PayPal must accompany each submission.
Multiple submissions are accepted, each accompanied by a $28 reading fee.
Read the complete guidelines before submitting your manuscript: http://www.tupelopress.org/dorset.php
Submit your manuscript online at: http://www.tupelopress.org/dorset.php
or send via postal mail to:
Tupelo Press Dorset Prize
P.O. Box 1767
North Adams, MA 01247
Read about past winners and more information about all Tupelo contests at:
http://www.tupelopress.org/contests.php
Here is a poem by G. C. Waldrep, author of Archicembalo (Tupelo Press, 2009), winner of the 2007 Dorset Prize:
What is a Soprano
I call to you as a prism to its oracle denies any prescriptive allure. What
is a high sound when a sparrow takes it. When breath snatches. A latch
catches. Dear diary. I am home now and affect a suitable disregard.
On a screen everyone is very particular. Does this explain.
It is this bird we want, not that one. This one not that one. Myth is the
difference between birds.
Is this a letter for us to open. It is. Red yellow blue green and violet.
Pressed between as petals in a bound volume for their proper keeping.
Repeat, as necessary. A gift expresses the meek constituency of a
recollected pleasure.
Who is happier when blind or blinded. Who says happy now.
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Our New Literary Resources and Recommended Books features appear in our quarterly special issues, which are published on March 1, June 1, September 1, and December 1. Contest announcements and calls for submissions appear in our regular monthly newsletters.
Andrea Hurst & Associates Literary Management
Literary agent Andrea Hurst's website features weekly interviews with publishing industry professionals, advice on book marketing, and manuscript consultations.
Badlands
Badlands is an annual student-edited journal published by the Palm Desert Campus of California State University, San Bernardino. They accept submissions of original and translated poetry, fiction, and creative nonfiction in English and Spanish, as well as artwork. In addition to general-interest submissions, the journal is currently seeking work by combat veterans of the US Armed Forces, for inclusion in several upcoming feature sections showcasing work by veterans. Include cover page with contact info, word and page count, title and genre of work, and brief bio (50 words). Do not include name in actual submission as works are read blind. Files should be in doc, docx or pdf format. See website for online submissions form.
Dancing Girl Press & Studio
The Dancing Girl Press chapbook series was founded in 2004 to publish and promote the work of women poets and artists through chapbooks, journals, book arts projects, and anthologies. Spawned by the online zine Wicked Alice, DGP seeks to publish work that bridges the gaps between schools and poetic techniques: work that's fresh, innovative, and exciting. The press has published over 90 titles by emerging women poets in delectable handmade editions. The studio also sells art paper, ephemera, and vintage-inspired arts and crafts.
Eratosphere
This discussion forum hosted by the literary journal Able Muse is a place where writers can share work in a variety of genres, including free verse, formal verse, literary criticism, fiction, humor, and translations. This community is most appropriate for experienced writers (i.e. not an amateur poetry forum).
Every Day Poems
A project of Tweetspeak Poetry, this free email newsletter includes a new classic or contemporary poem every weekday, information on special events, and resources for writing teachers. Each month focuses on examples of a different poetic form or topic.
Fade Poetry Journal
Monthy webzine launched in 2011 features short contemporary poems. Editors say, "We are a fan of free-verse, image, surprise and the polemic." Contributors have included Jim Bennett, Chris Fuqua, and Laura LeHew.
Gutter Eloquence Magazine
Gutter Eloquence aims to publish the best voices of the underground lit scene—and beyond. The magazine is published bimonthly online and there is also an annual print edition in the fall. Editors say, "This zine seeks high-quality, but gutsy writing: two-fisted free verse that pulls no punches!"
Hedgebrook Writers in Residence Program
Hedgebrook's motto is "Women Authoring Change". This retreat for women writers is located on Whidbey Island near Puget Sound, 35 miles from Seattle, WA. Each year, the retreat hosts about 40 women writers from all over the world for residencies of 2-6 weeks, at no cost to the writer.
Hellicious Horrors Epublishing
Hellicious Horrors publishes e-books in a variety of horror genres with pre-teens and young adults as protagonists. See website for submission guidelines. They are open to GLBT themes.
Humor and Poetry Lesson Plans at Thinkfinity
April is National Poetry Month and National Humor Month. Verizon's Thinkfinity website features lesson plans that teachers of grades K-12 can use to stimulate creative writing in both genres. Some of the writing prompts also provide an opportunity to explore topics in the sciences and American history.
Hyperlexia Journal
Hyperlexia is an online journal of poetry and prose about the autism spectrum. Contributors have included Barbara Crooker, Rebecca Foust, and Colette Jonopulos.
IMPpress
IMPpress is a small poetry and art publishing house in Wiltshire, England. They publish full-length books and chapbooks, plus a free quarterly e-zine that features poems, artwork, YouTube video links, and ekphrastic pieces (a collaboration between poet and artist). See website for submission guidelines.
Just a Contest
This website lists English-language writing contests with upcoming deadlines. Subscribe to their free newsletter for timely updates. Site is searchable by genre (poetry, fiction, nonfiction) and geographic eligibility (US or international).
Lily: A Monthly Online Literary Review
Lily was created in late 2003 by Susan Culver as a way to share the beauty of poetry, fiction and photography in a free and easily accessible way. Each piece of creative writing in Lily is paired with an original image. Lily encourages submissions from emerging writers, and has also featured such well-known authors as Alicia Ostriker and Paul Muldoon.
Lyttle Lytton Contest
This website collects and publishes the worst first sentences of imaginary novels (and some equally bad quotes from real ones).
Mary: A Literary Quarterly
This print and online journal showcases Queer/Gay writings of artistic merit. Submissions of poetry, fiction, and essays are accepted by email. Maximum 5,000 words per piece. Contributors have included Tom Cardamone, Christopher Hennessy, Michael Montlack, and Sarah Sarai.
ModCloth: The Written Wardrobe
ModCloth, a fashion blog and vintage clothing retailer, publishes fashion-themed poetry, fiction, and creative nonfiction in its webzine "The Written Wardrobe". Submissions are accepted February 1-October 1. Send 1-3 poems, or one prose piece up to 7,500 words, by email. See website for detailed instructions.
National Jukebox
This project at the Library of Congress makes historic recordings of popular and classical music and spoken-word performances available online. Search the archives by artist name and genre, or simply enjoy the eclectic selections of the day. The collection features more than 10,000 78rpm disc sides issued by the Victor Talking Machine Company between 1900 and 1925. Other material from the archives is currently being brought online.
NY Times: Rise in Self-Publishing Opens the Door for Aspiring Writers
This New York Times article from July 2011 discusses trends in self-publishing and how to choose the right publishing package.
P & Q Press
This small press, founded in 1999 by Peggy Garrison and David Quintavalle, publishes chapbooks and anthologies of poetry, fiction, and drama, with a special interest in New York City life.
PEN Shorts
The PEN American Center website features periodic themed contests with prizes that include PEN membership and free books and event tickets. Editors say, "Every few weeks we'll post a quote, a bit of dialogue, a postcard, an image, or some other random object or text. Your job is to take it and create a short narrative no longer than 300 words." Entries may be poetry or prose. Challenges have included rewriting a celebrity gossip magazine story in the style of Hemingway. PEN is a well-regarded organization that promotes freedom of expression and global literary culture.
Publishers & Vendors of Deaf-Related Materials
The website of Gallaudet University, a school for the deaf, features this list of English-language publishers who specialize in or otherwise publish a relatively large number of deaf-related books and/or videos. The list was last updated several years ago, but it is a good place to start your research into this market.
Random Poem Generator
The algorithm on this website will create haiku or rhyming quatrains from the text of any webpage. Not all of them are grammatical, but a found-poem can be assembled out of the best attempts.
Shift Journal
Online journal Shift explores "neurodiversity and social change", specifically the creative perspectives of people with autism spectrum. Entertaining the notion of autistic as a legitimate way to be in the world, from the crossroads of theory, society, and personal experience, Shift welcomes relevant contributions from all comers.
Southern Rep
This repertory theater in New Orleans offers opportunities for new play development. In partnership with the Hedgebrook Foundation, a literary nonprofit that supports the work of visionary women writers, Southern Rep sponsors the Ruby Prize, an award of $10,000 to a woman of color playwright.
Spillway
This literary journal is published twice a year by the small poetry press Tebot Bach. Submissions of poetry, interviews, and articles should be made online only. Award-winning poet Susan Terris became editor in 2011. As with her previous journal, RUNES, most issues of Spillway will be themed; see website for updates.
Sporting Poems by Carol Ann Duffy and Others
In this July 2010 feature from The Guardian newspaper, UK Poet Laureate Carol Ann Duffy has collected sports poems from such well-known authors as Billy Collins, Wendy Cope, Lavinia Greenlaw, and Paul Muldoon.
The Imagined Field (Sean Patrick Hill)
Blog of the poet and teacher Sean Patrick Hill, who is the author of the poetry collections The Imagined Field (Paper Kite Press, 2010) and Interstitial (BlazeVOX, 2011). Hill's poetry has appeared in such journals as DIAGRAM, High Desert Journal, and the Zoland Poetry Annual.
The Literary Dilettantes
This blog and accompanying magazine take a satirical and irreverant approach to all things literary. Topics include "deconstructing the romance novel" and "book cover critique". They accept parody poetry and fiction, humorous articles on literature, comic strips, videos, and illustrations. All submissions should somehow poke fun at serious works of literature or the literary establishment.
The Moth: True Stories Told Live
The Moth is a NYC-based literary organization and performance space dedicated to the art and craft of storytelling. Since its launch in 1997, The Moth has presented thousands of stories, told live and without notes, to standing-room-only crowds worldwide. The Moth directors work with storytellers to shape their tales into a performance piece. See website for submission guidelines, tour dates, and podcasts of The Moth Radio Hour.
The Review Review
This online journal founded in 2008 reviews new issues of literary magazines, interviews journal editors, offers publishing tips to writers, and maintains a database of over 300 literary magazines. Site design is appealing and articles are well-written.
The Vocabula Review
The Vocabula Review strives to celebrate the opulence and elegance of the English language, while educating readers about common errors in grammar, spelling, and rhetoric. This monthly journal features poems, essays, book reviews, and word puzzles.
The Whirlwind Review
Online journal edited by Jill Jepson, author of Writing as a Sacred Path, focuses on the intersections of writing and spirituality, broadly defined. They publish fiction, poetry, creative nonfiction, and critical essays on writing and spirituality in all spiritual, religious, and mythic traditions. Short fiction and essays should be 5,000 words maximum; self-contained novel excerpts 10,000 words maximum; no limit for poetry. Email submissions to contact@writingthewhirlwind.net.
Thresholds
The University of Chichester hosts this online literary forum on the art and craft of the short story. The forum provides members an opportunity to enter into academic and creatively-based discussions on a range of literary topics. The site also features exclusive, in-depth interviews with leading authors such as A.S. Byatt and Hanif Kureishi.
Unbound
UK-based site applies the principle of "crowdfunding" to book publishing. Agent-recommended authors pitch their book ideas on the site. If you like their idea, you can pledge to support it. If they hit the target number of supporters, the author can go ahead and start writing. If the target isn't met, you can either get your pledge refunded in full or switch your pledge to another Unbound project. Pledging readers get backstage access to the creative process, including updates on the book's progress, exclusive interviews, draft chapters, information about the author's backlist, and discussions with the author and other supporters.
Write It Forward
The blog of Bob Mayer, a writer of military and paranormal thrillers, tracks trends in self-publishing and e-books, and offers helpful advice about marketing the same. A must-read for those considering publishing their books outside traditional channels.
Writers Out
Writers Out is a non-exclusive free online community that gives writers a platform to publish, share, and sell their work, while using networking applications to build their fan base. Members can upload all types of writing, including books, blog posts, poems, stories, essays, and dramatic scripts. You may put these up for sale, offer them for free download, or simply share a sample on your profile. The "inviter" tool lets you invite your friends from other social networks such as Facebook and Gmail.
See our complete directory of resources at http://www.winningwriters.com/resources/ur_web.php. This is also the gateway to our recommended books, magazines, service providers, advice for writers (with manuscript tips) and poetry critiques.
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2012 Novel & Short Story Writer's Market—New Edition
Annual directory for fiction writers from Writer's Digest includes over 1,500 listings of magazines, book publishers, literary agents and contests, plus interviews with authors, agents, and other publishing professionals.
2012 Poet's Market—New Edition
Published in late summer by Writer's Digest, this is the best annual directory of journals, magazines,
book publishers, chapbook publishers, websites, grants, conferences, workshops and contests. Helps you find publishers who are looking for your kind of work.
2012 Writer's Market—New Edition
Annual directory for prose writers from Writer's Digest offers comprehensive listings of book publishers, magazines, trade publications and literary agents. Helpful articles cover topics such as using social media and how much to charge for your work. "The most valuable of tools for the writer new to the marketplace," says Stephen King in On Writing. "If you're really poor, ask someone to give it to you for Christmas."
Little Red Tree International Poetry Prize Anthology 2010
Edited by Michael Linnard. This engaging and accessible anthology features the winners and numerous runners-up from the first year of this contest, sponsored by a small press in Connecticut whose motto is "Delight, entertain and educate". Well-known contributors include Ed Frankel, Diane De Pisa, and A.D. Winans, alongside a number of writers who are just beginning their literary careers. A concluding section is devoted to the rediscovery of lesser-known authors including Jon Norman, Richard Harteis (partner of the late William Meredith), and Vernice Quebodeaux. The authors' bios are often as colorful as the poems themselves. Read Winning Writers subscriber Ed Frankel's first-prize poem from this anthology below.
Slouching Towards Guantanamo
By Jim Ferris. In his second full-length collection from Main Street Rag, Ferris interrogates America's concept of "the normal" and finds it wanting. His own disability is the lens through which this prophetic poet brings every other shade of inequality into focus, asking us to shed the burden of our ego so that differences between ourselves and others can simply coexist without comparison or judgment. Notwithstanding the spiritual weight they carry, these poems are playful, musical, satirical and passionate.
Sun, Moon, Salt
By Nancy White. Winner of the 1992 Word Works Washington Prize, this debut collection was reissued in 2010. If this book could be summed up in one word, it would be the title of the opening poem, "Tongue", that place where language and sex meet. White delights in the body's unique shapes, textures, and tastes, inviting us to experience familiar features as strange and wonderful. The generous range of these poems also extends to Northeastern small-town life, the constraints of female roles, and a grown woman's empathetic insights into her parents' struggles.
The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay
By Michael Chabon. This Pulitzer-winning epic novel about the golden age of comic book superheroes is also a love song to New York City Jewish culture in the years surrounding World War II. Two boys, a visionary artist who escaped Nazi-occupied Prague and his fast-talking, closeted cousin from Brooklyn, lead the fantasy fight against Hitler by creating the Escapist, a superhero who is a cross between Harry Houdini and the Golem of Jewish legend. However, their real-world dilemmas prove resistant to magical solutions, and can only be resolved through humility, maturity, and love.
The Voodoo Doll Parade
By Lauren Schmidt. The profane becomes sacred under this poet's unflinching attention, in earthy poems about illness, sex, and prayer (and sometimes all three tangled up in bed together). The heart of this chapbook is a series of unforgettable narratives about homeless and mentally disabled clients of The Dining Room, a soup kitchen in Oregon where the author volunteered. This book was selected by Terry Wolverton for the Main Street Rag Author's Choice Chapbook Series.
War Diaries
Edited by Tisa Bryant and Ernest Hardy. This hard-hitting poetry anthology about the impact of AIDS on minority communities is free to read online. Published by AIDS Project Los Angeles and The Global Forum on MSM & HIV. Contributors include Reginald Harris, Ronaldo V. Wilson, and Kevin Simmonds.
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The Aeronaut
by James S. Dorr
Nikki flies! God—no, she mustn't
say that name—but glory how she sweeps
and dives, her bat-wings whistling, snap rolls, up,
across the moon.
Of course she stays inside
by day, confined by satined wooden walls
and, yes, her dining habits have been changed.
But evening comes, with dark, with wind, with moon,
with long jet hair whipped in the slipstream of
her climb
—and Nikki flies!
Copyright 2011 by James S. Dorr
This poem is reprinted from his new collection, Vamps (A Retrospective), released in August by Sam's Dot Publishing.
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Smiley Comes in From the Cold
by Ed Frankel
Poor George, the world's such a puzzle to you, isn't it?
Ann said when I told her I was leaving.
The master spy, the old China hand
With my tradecraft and intelligence.
She said I looked like a wounded owl,
When my glasses fogged up and I took them off
And wiped them with my handkerchief.
I thought of Oedipus, the first detective, who discovered
Twice he was the answer to the question.
Get in line silly boots, I said to myself.
You're in distinguished company.
You know I was thrilled when Ann picked me
Out of all the men who were chasing her.
But she needed traffic signals to run,
The split second of light in anonymous places
Where desire, like the empty eye of a camera
Wants to take in as much as it can remember,
Not the truth, but the idea of truth.
Ann was always the hungry boots.
One of the great marriages people said at first.
But at home, someone seemed to pull her plug.
It was just the idea of me that she fancied.
You were there at the Gallery opening.
When she danced in her stockings
With Bert, the long haired riding instructor.
George, you're such a stick in the mud,
She shouted for all to hear.
The clues—invisibly inked all over her body,
Warm lip prints on her neck and shoulders
That blossomed under my stare, and the scent
Of someone else's cigarette on her hands and in her hair.
The faint encodings of another man's touch.
I recognized "his handwriting", his behavior
As we used to call it in the trade, a friend, no less.
And then I found her diary in the living room.
If George only knew how much I betrayed him.
And all the pictures spilled out.
The dubious patrimony and all those unanswered questions.
The oiled whisper of bodies, coaxing and urging
Their pleasures in the churning of the sheets.
For hours my pulse would spike past a hundred,
Me, who could beat the lie detector test.
I thought I would disappear out the top of my head.
I took to reciting the twenty third psalm
In the pews of empty churches.
Reggie Martindales's parting shot echoed in my ears.
"My regards to Ann; everyone's regards to Ann."
Get a grip, you kept advising.
I left her after the ultimate double betrayal
By Bill Haydon, who turns out to be
The deep cover mole in London Station.
I think about Chaucer, "the Miller's Tale",
Then Arthur, Lancelot and Guinevere.
Cokewald, cukeweld, cucueld
From the Middle English and Norman French you know.
The female cuckoo lays her eggs in other birds' nests,
Such an ugly, awkward word,
But cuckold, doesn't say it all.
Perhaps Ann, not me, is the foolish boots,
Though it is hard to see her as a fool
When she is so much coveted and admired.
Everything is a lesson Ann used to say.
Maybe the lucky one is the lover and not the beloved.
Or am I just fooling myself, missing the tell?
Another watcher in the shadows that I still haven't detected.
You always told me, Mind how you go,
Watch your back, George.
How do you see it now?
Tell me—who's the clever boots?
Copyright 2011 by Ed Frankel
This poem won first prize in the 2010 Little Red Tree International Poetry Prize. (Next deadline: October 15, 2011.) It is inspired by the character of George Smiley in the spy novels of John Le Carré.
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Advertise to 35,000 Poets and Writers
Promote your contests, websites, workshops, events, and publications in this newsletter. Reach over 35,000 poets and writers for $100. Ads may contain up to 250 words, a headline, and a graphic image. Find out more and make your reservation here:
http://www.winningwriters.com/advertisers.php
"The results were great for the money—a good value."
David Dodd Lee, judge of the Lester M. Wolfson Poetry Award sponsored by 42 Miles Press
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PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT
Basic Facts about Literacy
- Literacy is the ability to read, write, compute, and use technology at a level that enables an individual to reach his or her full potential as a parent, employee, and community member.
- There are 774 million adults around the world who are illiterate in their native languages.
- Two-thirds of the world's illiterate adults are women.
- In the U.S., 30 million people over age 16—14 percent of the country's adult population—don't read well enough to understand a newspaper story written at the eighth grade level or fill out a job application.
- The United States ranks fifth on adult literacy skills when compared to other industrialized nations.
Click for more
 ProLiteracy supports adults and young people in the U.S. and internationally who are learning to read, write, and do basic math by training instructors, publishing instructional materials, and advocating for resources and public policies that support them.
Support ProLiteracy's vital mission. Click
here to learn more. Click to contribute.
Send this newsletter to a friend and we'll donate 15 cents to ProLiteracy for each friend you refer.
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2010 WERGLE FLOMP HUMOR POETRY CONTEST—HONORABLE MENTION
SALVATION DRIVE-THRU
by Susan White
Feed your soul and your belly.
Confess to the Babylon speaker before ordering.
Pay at the first window, and
Receive your communion bag at the second window.
That's right. It's just that easy.
Cruise through Christ the King Food Corral,
where we observe three commandments:
Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's car,
Thou shalt not write bad checks,
Thou shalt not eat elsewhere.
Deny the temptation of false food.
Remember, Christ is the only king,
and He wears a crown of thorns—
not a cardboard Burger King crown.
Don't succumb to the foolish clowning
Of Ronald McDonald.
And, friends, do not be tempted by Wendy's
or the Dairy Queen's food.
Our scriptures warn us of the food that
women offer.
We offer a blessed menu:
Tower of Babble Fountain Beverages
Hallelujah Milkshakes
Holy Water
The Pontius Pilate Platter
Solomon's Half-Sandwich
Sirloin on the Mount
Abraham and Cheese
Goliath Burger
Lamb of God
Eden Salad
Magdalene Melt
Adam's Ribs
Shrimp with Red Sea Sauce
Meek Fries, Almighty Fries, and God Almighty Fries
Onion Halos
And Ten Essential Condiments
For dessert, we have
Peter's Triple Freeze,
Apple Resurrections,
Valley of Death Chocolate Sunday,
and Sinai Pie
And, since the secular world is a polluted place,
we offer more than physical nourishment.
We have a second drive-thru
for those in need of cleansing.
The Car and Soul Wash.
Experience the convenience of wheelin' through healin'.
For just ten dollars, purify your car
and heal your body and spirit.
Simply press a button to
designate physical or spiritual healing
and, using the alphabetical pad,
type your ailment or burden.
After your car is cleaned,
two mechanical hands of God
Will clasp your car, clearing
your mind, body, and soul.
When the light flashes SAVED,
Drive in health and peace.
Be sure to save your friends and family. Tell them about Christ the King Food Corral. (If you send 1,000 people to us, you'll receive a gold-plated ticket to paradise.)
Ask about our Magi gift certificates
Kids under twelve may select one of our toys: Holy Rollers, Crèche Critters, or the Magical Messiah Action Figure
Christ the King Food Corral: Satisfy Your Cravin' for Christ.
Copyright 2010 Susan White
This poem won an honorable mention in the 2010 Wergle Flomp humor poetry contest sponsored by Winning Writers. Author Susan White received a cash prize of $75. See the judge's comments on the winning poems from this contest.
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COMING IN OUR SEPTEMBER 15 NEWSLETTER
Winners Announced for the 19th Tom Howard/John H. Reid Short Story Contest
The Best Free Poetry Contests for September 16-October 31
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